Everyone has a past. There are parts of one's past that are best forgotten, parts that are hard to release, and parts that bring back warm, happy memories.....but the best part is when the past pleasantly intermingles with the present. Sometimes this can't happen until much time has elapsed and old wounds have healed, but when it does happen, there's nothing in the world that can compare.
Such a thing happened to me this summer when my husband met my college boyfriend. I'll spare you the gory details, but W was my first long-term relationship. We met in a college bar (where else?) in Kent, Ohio at the end of the summer before my junior year in college and dated for about three years. He was smart, creative, made me laugh, and was my friend. We had our ups and downs and it didn't end so well. We were young, silly, and trying to figure out who we were and what we wanted out of life. W and I didn't have much contact after we broke up and I ended up moving to Texas a few years later. I found out before I moved that he had lymphoma and he went on to endure several rounds of chemotherapy throughout the following years. I felt horrible that he was so sick, but I knew that we weren't right for each other. Our relationship served a purpose and it was great when it was great, but it wasn't meant to last forever.
I thought about W every now and then throughout the years, not knowing if he was even alive. I met my wonderful husband, Lance in 1996 and we had two children within the next four years. I was busy with my job and taking care of my family, but still thought about W every now and then, hoping that he was doing well and was as happy as I was. And then there was Facebook.
W and I reconnected when I became a Facebook newbie three years ago. He apologized for the things that weren't so great about our relationship and told me about how he had had one too many brushes with death. I explained to Lance what W had been through during the past 10 or 12 years and told him that we had reconnected through Facebook. I'm so lucky to have a confident and understanding husband that is secure in our relationship because it didn't bother Lance that W and I had reconnected. I made it clear that there had not been any romantic feelings between us for many, many years, but that I hoped we could be friends because we had been very good friends and had shared a lot of fun experiences in college (like the time we got lost in Cleveland driving the lead singer from Gene Loves Jezebel back to his hotel).
Facebook also allowed W and I both to reconnect with J, a beloved college friend of ours. J was a campus security guard at Kent State while I was an RA in the dorms, and we would visit while we were both on duty. J and W also got to know each other during this time. I talked to J on the phone the summer after we reconnected on Facebook when I was in Ohio, but we weren't able to coordinate a visit. I knew the following summer that we all had to get together......it had been almost 20 years since we had all seen each other. I approached Lance and asked him if he would like to go with me to meet up with W and J, but he felt that it would be a bit awkward for him, but told me that he didn't mind if I spent one evening with them.
We met up at one of our old college haunts in Kent and I got to meet J's beautiful wife and children as well as J and W's mutual friend, comic book illustrator P. Craig Russell. You can by our smiles how wonderful it was to see each other after so many years had passed:
I talked to Lance before our trip to Ohio this past summer, and he felt more comfortable meeting W, who had since met a great woman that we all hope he will marry (hint, hint). My brother and sister-in-law offered to throw a little cocktail/dessert party and we invited W and his girlfriend, Joe and his family, and Craig. This was a big step for everyone, my brothers included. The only words to describe that night was magical. There was something intangible in the air that night (at least for me). It was the reunion of family and friends and also the making of new friends. There were no awkward moments and it was as if we had all just seen each other the previous week. It was a get-together of Good People who realize that life is short and that nothing in the world is as important as relationships, old and new.
Three old friends:
New friends:
The meeting that I never dreamed would happen:
Up to no good, I tell you:
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