Life's Little Ironies

Life is ironic, for sure.  You just have to be cognizant enough to recognize the brilliant little (and sometimes naughty) tricks and twists that life throws at you.  One of my favorite literary devices is irony.  It has fueled great works such as "Romeo and Juliet" as well as memorable short stories such as Shirley Jackson's "The Gift." But it can also be found in the mundane occurrences of our daily lives.  Let me me give you a couple examples from my own recent experiences:


No. 1:  C'est WHAT?
We have a friend that does a lot of traveling and likes his children to study foreign languages.  He is preparing them for world travels, no doubt, but sometimes they have a hard time seeing the big picture and frankly just want to be kids and throw a ball around instead of conjugating verbs.  Apparently his persistence is paying off because his son recently shared some of his knowledge (although not completely technically correct) with my daughter.
Natalie:  "Mom, do you know what caca de toro means?"
Me: "No, I sure don't.  What does it mean?"
Natalie:  "It means bullshit in Spanish."
C'est WHAT?
Me (calmly, of course):  "Uh, who taught you that?"
Natalie:  "Jeremy." [name changed to protect the relatively innocent]
I'm not so sure that this is what our friend had in mind, but at least the kid is thinking in a foreign language, right?


No. 2:  Cinderella Went to the Ball....Eventually
My sister Julie works very hard in a thankless job.  In fact, many would consider her job to be a real-life version of "The Office," although not as fun.  She works as a pricing manager for paper company.  I know.  But it pays very well......well enough that she can afford to go to France with my brother and sister-in-law this week.  I was so happy for her when she told me that she was going - it was something really nice for her to look forward to.  She left on Friday and called me from the airport.
Me:  "Hey, what are you doing?"
Julie:  "I just got through security in Lexington and am about to board my flight to Charlotte.  What are YOU doing?"
Me:  "I'm on my hands and knees scrubbing my kitchen floor."
Julie:  "Oh. So I'm meeting Dave and Cat at their hotel when I arrive in Paris and then we're taking the train to Provence.  I think we are going to have a private tour of one of the vineyards and lunch with the owner next week."
Me:  "That's great!  I'm scrubbing my baseboards. "
Yes, I am playing Cinderella, literally on my hands and now slightly-bruised knees, armed with a smelly rag, scrubbing the baseboards in my kitchen.  C'est ironique, mes amis.

I Went Back to Ohio...

....and my city was....GONE, to quote Akron native Chrissie Hynde.  These two things I know about myself:  I am sentimental and change is difficult for me (unless I am the one initiating it) because I am so sentimental.  Yes, I know that change is good and that stagnancy is bad, that change is an indicator of growth, blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda.  You can change the menu at my favorite restaurant, the exhibits at my favorite art museum, and Brad Pitt's hairdo, but do NOT mess with my college town.


That's right....Kent, Ohio, whose downtown area has remained relatively unchanged since its hippie days is suddenly changing.  Being the wife of a real estate broker, I realize that tearing down old buildings and replacing them with shiny, new strip malls is a sign of a healthy economy (although it is the aesthete's worst enemy).  Northeast Ohio's economy has been anything but healthy during the past decade and every town wants to see new businesses come in and liven things up, that's true.  The city of Kent and the University have been making efforts to be partners rather than separate entities.  That's good, too, but my college town is changing and I don't like it!


Jerry's Diner was one of my favorite after hours haunts in Kent.  My fellow punks and I would commune there after a long night of partying in the bars and music clubs of Kent.  (Old college partying stories to be addressed in future posts....after all, I am nothing if not sentimental, as previously stated.) My friends and I used to scrounge up enough leftover beer money to share a plate of greasy fries and cups of black coffee at Jerry's.  One could only hope for a grimy stool at the equally grimy lunch counter.  Now, the corner on which it once sat is vacant.  This was probably the most heartbreaking change for me (other than my favorite coffee house selling out to Starbucks).  Here is a photo of Jerry's during demolition a couple of years ago:

The Sunrise Apartments were recently demolished to make way for new student apartments. I never lived here, but had friends that did:

The Robin Hood was a fine dining establishment when my dad went to Kent State University.  It was a bar that attracted a lot of jocks and frat boys when I was in college.  I hung out here occasionally until I discovered my inner punk and then began to frequent more respectable punk hangouts like JB's and Mother's (which was renovated into a "nice" restaurant in the 1990s with no remnants of it's Saturday night reggae band past):

Before:

After:

The maddening thing about this demolition is that the owner had no re-purposing plans in mind when she had it demolished.  This is one of the most prevalent corners in Kent, as it is right across the street from campus as well as Kent's most popular coffee house, otherwise known as Captain Brady's to my dad, Brady's to me, and Starbucks to its current unfortunate patrons that didn't know it when it was still owned by a person and not a corporation.  This corner will remain lonely and vacant until the owner (who has remained silent on the issue) decides what to do with it. One can only hope that whatever it is, it will be inexpensive enough for the college students to enjoy and frequent.

Sadder still are the elderly and disabled residents of Silver Oaks retirement village on the other side of campus.  Their home has been sold to a developer, who plans to build student housing.  The residents weren't given more than a couple of month's notice to vacate and five residents have died, presumably from the trauma of being forced out of their homes, since the announcement was made.  A local non-profit agency that assists the elderly let on that they were trying to raise the funds to purchase the complex from the developer, but the chances of that happening seem slim to none.  Most recently, another developer (what else?) has come forward with potential plans to build new retirement housing in Kent.  Gotta strike while the iron is hot, right?  At least the surviving residents might have a place to go.

Kent's pride and joy is Acorn Alley.  Yes, it is in the heart of downtown, aesthetically pleasing, and offers various places to hang out, but it seems a bit gentrified (and expensive) compared to the Kent I knew.  Acorn Alley II is under construction, complete with a street named after the developer (wince).  I wonder how many college students can actually afford flashy Acorn Alley I/II eateries such as Bricco, but I guess it is a reasonable alternative to the Schwebel Room in the Student Center for students who want to "take" their visiting parents out for dinner.  

Thank goodness that independently owned, long-term businesses and hangouts like Spin More Records, The Loft, Ray's, the Venice, and Franklin Square Deli are still there or I would be completely disoriented when I visit.  Here's a fun article about some of the bars and clubs that I frequented in the 80s.

Of course, it is the people that make a town and I am lucky enough to still have enough family and friends in the area to help re-create Kent's independent spirit and hippie vibe.  I really want to see Kent do well in these tough economic times, so change if it must.  I'll adjust....somehow.

(To give credit where credit is due, the Record Pub and Kent Patch websites get total and complete credit for these awesome photos.)

Old Friends

Everyone has a past.  There are parts of one's past that are best forgotten, parts that are hard to release, and parts that bring back warm, happy memories.....but the best part is when the past pleasantly intermingles with the present.  Sometimes this can't happen until much time has elapsed and old wounds have healed, but when it does happen, there's nothing in the world that can compare.

Such a thing happened to me this summer when my husband met my college boyfriend.  I'll spare you the gory details, but W was my first long-term relationship.  We met in a college bar (where else?) in Kent, Ohio at the end of the summer before my junior year in college and dated for about three years.  He was smart, creative, made me laugh, and was my friend.  We had our ups and downs and it didn't end so well.  We were young, silly, and trying to figure out who we were and what we wanted out of life. W and I didn't have much contact after we broke up and I ended up moving to Texas a few years later.  I found out before I moved that he had lymphoma and he went on to endure several rounds of chemotherapy throughout the following years.  I felt horrible that he was so sick, but I knew that we weren't right for each other.  Our relationship served a purpose and it was great when it was great, but it wasn't meant to last forever.

I thought about W every now and then throughout the years, not knowing if he was even alive.  I met my wonderful husband, Lance in 1996 and we had two children within the next four years.  I was busy with my job and taking care of  my family, but still thought about W every now and then, hoping that he was doing well and was as happy as I was.  And then there was Facebook.


W and I reconnected when I became a Facebook newbie three years ago.  He apologized for the things that weren't so great about our relationship and told me about how he had had one too many brushes with death.  I explained to Lance what W had been through during the past 10 or 12 years and told him that we had reconnected through Facebook.  I'm so lucky to have a confident and understanding husband that is secure in our relationship because it didn't bother Lance that W and I had reconnected.  I made it clear that there had not been any romantic feelings between us for many, many years, but that I hoped we could be friends because we had been very good friends and had shared a lot of fun experiences in college (like the time we got lost in Cleveland driving the lead singer from Gene Loves Jezebel back to his hotel).


Facebook also allowed W and I both to reconnect with J, a beloved college friend of ours.  J was a campus security guard at Kent State while I was an RA in the dorms, and we would visit while we were both on duty. J and W also got to know each other during this time.  I talked to J on the phone the summer after we reconnected on Facebook when I was in Ohio, but we weren't able to coordinate a visit.  I knew the following summer that we all had to get together......it had been almost 20 years since we had all seen each other.  I approached Lance and asked him if he would like to go with me to meet up with W and J, but he felt that it would be a bit awkward for him, but told me that he didn't mind if I spent one evening with them.


We met up at one of our old college haunts in Kent and I got to meet J's beautiful wife and children as well as J and W's mutual friend, comic book illustrator P. Craig Russell.  You can by our smiles how wonderful it was to see each other after so many years had passed:

I talked to Lance before our trip to Ohio this past summer, and he felt more comfortable meeting W, who had since met a great woman that we all hope he will marry (hint, hint).  My brother and sister-in-law offered to throw a little cocktail/dessert party and we invited W and his girlfriend, Joe and his family, and Craig.  This was a big step for everyone, my brothers included.  The only words to describe that night was magical.  There was something intangible in the air that night (at least for me).  It was the reunion of family and friends and also the making of new friends.  There were no awkward moments and it was as if we had all just seen each other the previous week.  It was a get-together of Good People who realize that life is short and that nothing in the world is as important as relationships, old and new.


Three old friends:

New friends:

The meeting that I never dreamed would happen:

Up to no good, I tell you:

Isn't this what life is all about?  Forgetting, forgiving, and forging new and improved relationships.