The Disappearing Dinner Act

I think that the American family dinner has gotten lost in the wake of dual income families, parents who "over activity" their kids and themselves to death, and just plain laziness. I'm a working mom and I strongly believe that one of the best things I can give my kids is a home-cooked meal. That's not to say that I never stop by Chicken Express or Taco Casa on the way home from work, but home-cooked meals definitely outnumber fast food meals in our house. A lot of parents are so busy keeping up with their kids' extracurricular activities, homework, their own jobs, church activities, etc. that they don't feel that they have the time or the energy to cook a homemade meal.


It all boils down to giving your kids the basics...stability, healthy food, and love. I spend every Sunday afternoon preparing meals for the week and more often than not, the kids will pitch in and help. It becomes a creative thing and amounts to quality time together that provides a great result. Yes, it's time-consuming, but it's cheaper and healthier than the alternatives. Growing up in a Slovenian home (my parents are first-generation Americans) meant lots of fresh vegetables from the garden and simple, healthy dishes. My parents carried on many of the food traditions that their parents brought from the Old Country and taught them to us. Not only did we eat well, but we established meaningful traditions that we have passed on to our own kids.


Cooking a homemade meal doesn't have to be anything extravagant or time-consuming. Slather a whole chicken with olive oil and rosemary and pop it in the oven and serve it with steamed broccoli, for example. Involve your kids while they're young and make it fun for them. They'll learn healthy eating habits early and will learn a valuable skill. I tease my son and tell him that the ability to cook is a definite chick magnet.


My daughter brought home a Mothers Day questionnaire that she had filled out at school. One of the questions was, "What does your mom do for you that you like the most?" She answered, "She cooks great food for me." That said it all.

Self-Esteem in the Hands of a 9-Year-Old

I could see the skepticism in my daughter's eyes as we entered the dressing room at TJ Maxx. She glanced at the swimsuits in my hand and then at me, focusing on my torso. She cocked her head, studying me, and sighed as I closed the dressing room door. I had barely tried on the first swimsuit when she shook her head and said, "Mom, your stomach looks chubby." I tried the second suit on. She shook her head again and said, "That one makes your legs look fat." I donned the third suit in a last-ditch effort, but to no avail. "Maybe you should just wear shorts and a tee-shirt to the pool this year." I was crushed. I didn't think my 42-year-old, 5 foot 9, barely 140-pound body looked THAT bad. After all, I had been doing squats and lunges in the office when my ADD got the best of me.


My 11-year-old son was of no help when he actually gave me a tee-shirt to wear over my swimsuit before our first trip to the pool this summer. It's a good thing that my self-esteem isn't completely dependent upon my kids' opinions.....or you might never see me at the pool. Well, maybe never is a strong word. I'll be the one wearing the tee-shirt and shorts.

The Perils of Thinking Too Much

I think too much. In fact, I terrorize myself. I can talk myself into and out of anything. I can recite the pros and cons of virtually any situation. Seriously....give me a situation. Don't ask me to take sides because I can't - I don't know how. Perhaps it's because of the Catholic school girl diplomacy ingrained in me or maybe it's because I'm just too darn diplomatic. I fault my counselor training for that one.


You know, I really want to think that I'm a laid-back person, but I'm not. I may look like I'm calm and living in the moment, but it's all an unfortunate, unintentional facade. And it kills me. I'm so in tune with the Bohemian vibe, but there's too much noise going on inside my head to relax and really feel it. No, I'm not schizophrenic (but I have explored that possibility).


I'm the only person I know that can completely and utterly exhaust herself just by sitting in an empty, quiet room. Once I come out of my daydream or obsession-of-the-moment, I'm almost out of breath because of all the conversations and comments from the peanut gallery going on inside my head. No, I don't hear voices....I create them. That's why I have to listen to music while I'm at work. If I don't, I'll talk myself in and out of a job, reciting the pros and cons of being a working mom, all the while picturing horrible things happening to my kids while I'm cooped up in an office, imagining horrible things happening to them.


I give up. I surrender to the noise. What's going on inside YOUR head?

ADD It Up

My parents should have known when I came home with my first grade report card that read, "Amy is a really smart girl, but she just can't sit still" and later, "Is everything all right at home? Amy seems really distracted." I remember getting put in the corner in kindergarten because I thought that it was more fun to spin in circles on the shiny linoleum floor (tan with brown specks) than it was to "participate" in story time. My 10th grade chemistry teacher would squirt me and my fellow ADD comrades with a water bottle when we got out of hand. Mind you, I wasn't a troublemaker or rebellious in any way (well, maybe only a little). (By the way, Shriekback just came on Sirius - I totally forgot about them!) To this day, my parents still deny that I have ADD.


Never mind that...
- I am always reading 3 or 4 books at any given time and can tell you exactly what's going on where I left off...
OR
- My right leg starts shaking uncontrollably when I'm majorly bored and stuck somewhere I can't leave (like when I'm summarizing deposition testimony of a traffic light engineer in my cubicle at work)...
OR
- I can't focus on anything boring like math or physics, but can spend hours absorbed in a good book or writing project...
OR
-If you take too long to tell me a story, I'll stop listening after 30 seconds (but you'll never know it).


Nah, I don't have ADD. The silver lining is that studies have shown that creative and intelligent people are most frequently plagued by this affliction (I prefer to call it multi-tasking).


Yeah, that's what I'll keep telling myself.

Supervise Your Kids Or I Will

There is an epidemic in my neighborhood. No, it's not the swine flu, but it has the potential to be just as, if not more, deadly. It is that of the unsupervised child. Typically, these families also have unsupervised pets, but that's a whole different blog. I don't understand the frightening trend of parents letting their small child (I'm talking under 4 years old in some cases) play in the street unsupervised.

I almost ran over my neighbor's barely 4-year-old son the other day while I was pulling into my driveway. Earlier in the year, I literally saved his 5-year-old brother's life by pulling him out of the way of a speeding car on our street. When I told him that he could have gotten killed by not looking before he ran across the street, he laughed at me and said, "Well, I did it, didn't I?" Flabbergasted is the only word to describe my reaction to that defiantly bold statement. Where his parents? I can tell you one place they weren't.

One of the more terrifying episodes was when my husband pulled his SUV into our driveway after a family outing. The kids and I got out and found another neighbor's 5-year-old son lying underneath the vehicle. If my husband had proceeded to pull the vehicle into the garage as he usually does, he would have most certainly run him over, possibly killing him. We held a "come to Jesus" meeting right then and there with the little bugger and then my husband took him across the street and had a similar meeting with his parents. The next day he was playing in the street, alone, again.

Another not-quite-so-frightening but nonetheless annoying occurrence was the time that a kid was going around the neighborhood pool shooting everyone in the eyes with a water gun (and not the wimpy 4-inch pistols you and I grew up with). Granted, I have 2 boys and I know that they need to let loose and run around like maniacs every now and then, but come on. The mom was sitting on the side of the pool with me, completely oblivious to what her son was doing. I told him very nicely (several times) that he needed to stop shooting above the neck, but he persisted. Still, no reaction or correction from the mom. I repeated myself in a more serious, grown-up tone of voice, which got the attention of his mom, who succinctly told me that I had no business telling her son what to do.

All I can say is.....supervise your kid or I will.

The Christian Bohemian Movement

Never heard of it? Good. I'm starting it. As a former Catholic turned non-demoninational Christian living in the heart of the Bible Belt, I've grown tired of the "either or" attitude.


* Either you're a Christian and you use the word "blessing" in every other sentence OR you're a pagan that never utters the name of Christ.


* You either listen solely to Christian music OR you listen to "secular" rock 'n roll.


* You either dress in ankle-length denim skirts and polo shirts as good Christian women should (reminiscent of the Duggers) OR you dress "immodestly" in tank tops and cut offs.


* You either abstain completely from alcohol OR you're a lush that enjoys an occasional glass of wine.


This, unfortunately, is the attitude I have come up against quite often here in Texas. Mind you, only one person has ever suggested to me that I am an alcoholic because one of my hobbies happens to be wine, but I have become accustomed to the pursed lips and uncomfortable looks in the other direction. No, I don't throw Christian lingo a lot, but I like to think that my actions show who I am. I am proud to be a former punk rocker and yes, I still listen to the Sex Pistols. I am passionate about any artistic endeavor, but my TRUE passion is tolerance for diversity (how fun is it to only surround yourself with people like you?) and freedom of creative expression. The point is, life isn't black and white. Just because you're one thing doesn't mean you're not the other. Moderation is key.


It's okay to feel comfortable with the creative, hippie vibe and seek out other like-minded friends, Christian or not. It's okay to think, dress, or speak unconventionally. It's okay to have a glass of wine and listen to Neil Young or Radiohead. It's okay to be different. Be true to yourself, Christian Bohemian, and rest assured, you are in good company.

Put Your Passion Into Action

I finally got off my arse and am blogging. I've been passionate about writing since I was a kid. My first writing project was a Christmas play that I put on with my brothers and sisters (I won't tell anyone that you were the Christmas Angel, Mark). I was hooked after that and continued to write throughout high school and college....nothing earth shattering, but I was writing.


My writing took on the form of journaling during those tumultuous teenage and young adult years, but who cares? I wasn't writing to be published (although Judy Blume might have been proud of some of my material) - I was writing for me. My favorite class in college was a creative writing class and I was quite encouraged when my professor told me that I had talent worth cultivating. Unfortunately, my perfectionism and lack of self-confidence paralyzed me and I didn't write for years, other than case notes when I worked as a counselor.


I started mulling over a novel when I was a stay-at-home mom mainly for sanity's sake, but also to release the creative beast. It felt GREAT, but again, my lack of confidence got in the way, plus I went back to work full time and didn't have (or make) the time to write.


All of this procrastination led to self-defeating feelings and a creative depression. I finally realized what was wrong (with the help of my son's piano teacher) - I wasn't putting my passion into action. Creative people must create. So guess what? I'm blogging and I'm doing it! You can do it, too! Figure out what you are passionate about, get off your booty, and DO IT!